While playing checkers…

Cheeks: Ha Mommy, I’ve set a TRAP for you. I’m going to win!!
Me: Good work baby.
(After some time without successfully jumping any of Mommy’s checkers)
Cheeks: Mommy? You know that trap that I set for you?
Me: Uh huh.
Cheeks Well, I would really appreciate it if you would go ahead and fall into it!!

And while at the pool…

Squidge: Mommy, I need to get out and rest for a minute.
Me: Well, sweetie if you’re going to get out, then let’s just go ahead and put our clothes on.
Squidge: No Mommy, I just want to get out and rest for a LITTLE minute!!

(sigh)

Every morning as I prepare to ready my children for the day, a knot begins to form in my stomach, my shoulders droop, a pallor hangs over my head as I face the dreaded task of… brushing the teeth of the Squidge. In the world of parenting, this is my tour in Vietnam – a neverending, daily siege that takes ten times longer than it should. However, I survive much of my parenting struggles with my limited ability to out-think the pixies. In this spirit, I have turned brushing teeth into a very random game. Observe:

Me: Let me get all of that alligator out of your teeth.
Squidge: (opening wider) And the gorilla.
Me: And all of that kangaroo way at the back.

And so it goes until we finally get the teeth at least swiped of the more prevalent food stains. Yesterday morning, our conversation went something like this:

Me: Okay, let me get all of that dinosaur out of your teeth.
Squidge: And the lions.
Me: You ate some lions?
Squidge: Uh huh. And I ate a picture!
Me: A picture? Of what?
Squidge: Of you Mommy. And it tasted beautifully.
Me: …