Just so you know, being an actor erratically vacillates between “dream job” and “what the hell am I doing with my life.” I know, I know, you thought it was a really cool thing to do for a living – but non-profit is a bitch.

Here’s an insider’s tip for ya: actors are notoriously lazy. “What?” you may well gasp in surprised bewilderment, “Are you telling me that these talented people whose only real responsibility on a day-to-day basis includes showing up, remembering some lines of dialogue and figuring out where their bodies need to be on stage at any given time are not the driven-to-excellence work horses I always expected they were?”

Yes, friends. I hate to be the one to pull the rug out from underneath you, but actors are indeed lazy people. Having been thus far unable to pinpoint the source of the inertia, I can only suppose that this epidemic torpor stems from the high percentage of riff-raff – artistic flotsam and jetsam if you will – floating around the theater community. In other words, we’ve got a lot of folks who do theater because 1) they don’t know what else to do with their lives, and 2) we continue to perpetuate the myth that acting requires no specific skill set and is therefore open to anyone (see Paris Hilton or The Rock).

Now, before anyone opens up a can of Meryl Streep on me, let me tip my hat to those few, those happy few, who are indeed inspiration to us all. Those actors who remind us just why we put up with all the other crap. The Artists. The Creators. The Dreamers. The Makers. They’re out there and we love them. But they are few.

Yet, in spite of it all, I still love being an actor. I love working with people who are happy to be at work. To those of you reading this from a cubicle, God bless you. Nothing is better than sitting at my desk brainstorming about giants and ogres, puppets and props, and listening to costumers ordering animal eyeballs over the phone. I LOVE WEIRD PEOPLE.

And all God’s children said Amen!