16 January, 2008
Happy Birthday T!
Today is my nephew’s 4th birthday.
In his honor, here is my Abecedary of all the things I love about the T-man:
A – Auntie Ah (which is what he calls me – I LOVE being his aunt)
B – boy (never had any brothers or sons, so he absolutely defines “boy” for me)
C – creative (the boy’s got a beautiful mind)
D – Daddy (the parent he looks just like! Plus, his dad is a rock star)
E – energy (which up until now has proven to be endless)
F – free spirit (he makes bohemians seem dull and repressed)
G – green (his favorite color)
H – hair (check out the ‘do above)
I – imaginary friends (I remember when one got “left” at the farm)
J – James (his little brother, and the very winter of his discontent)
K – kooky (he can wear a cowboy vest with a tutu and tiara and TOTALLY pull it off)
L – laugh (his is infectious and really quite delightful)
M – markers (which he really shouldn’t ever have unsupervised – see above photo)
N – naughty (hey – it’s only the boring kids that never ever get in trouble!)
O – over the top (enough said!)
P – polite (which he is quite often at my house and I’m so proud of him)
Q – quiet (which he is not and thank goodness for that because he’s never boring)
R – Reesie (his favorite dog and my favorite Golden Retriever)
S – Spiderman. Or slippers. Or Spiderman slippers
T – talk (I could seriously converse with my nephew all day and NEVER get bored)
U – ultra (ultra happy, ultra sad, ultra mischevious – whatever the mood, it’s always “ultra”)
V – voice (Jennie – I LOVE that deep little voice of his)
W – will (he’s got a delightfully strong one even though it’s turning his mother’s hair grey)
X – eXtraordinary (he is, and you only need to be around him for 3 seconds to see it)
Y – yes!! (it’s usually his answer because he’s up for anything)
Z – zest (every day, T finds some way to take a big ole bite out of life)
So there you have it. Happy Birthday T. Your Auntie Ah loves you.
15 January, 2008
Meow!
The fabuloso MaryAnn saved my hair today. It had lots of sun damage that had grown out from the summer. In cat language, I went from this:
to this:
Sleek, baby. Sleek!!
Rainy Days and Pixie Math
Today is rainy. Very, very rainy. I am in the house with the Pixies. They are being very… pixie-like.
If my over-Pixied life right now were like a math problem, it would look like this.
On a happy note, meet my nephew Case – or as I will now be calling him, Chim Chim. He rocks. Cries a lot. But rocks.
15 December, 2007
Because My Sisters Would Laugh Out Loud With Me
I know it has nothing to do with Pixies or Christmas, but sometimes I just need to put something up that makes me laugh. This commercial makes me want to watch it with my sisters because we would all three find it endlessly hilarious. Enjoy!
11 December, 2007
I Put On Panties and My Hands Are Clean…
or so announced my little friend Hanna this afternoon as she emerged from her bedroom. The Pixies spent the afternoon at a friend’s house and came home FULL OF BEANS! With a side order of sass! I got to spend the afternoon at the Scholastic Book Where(on God’s green earth did all these books come from?)house while Trixie and Squidge were carefully looked after. The girls spent the afternoon there, but I was only present for the last 20 minutes of their visit. But what a last 20 minutes it was! Here are the highlights – an afternoon play-date in three acts.
Act I: Pearl Jam
The moment I arrived at the house to collect the Pixies, Hanna had some sort of accident involving her skull and a hard surface. When her mother laid her down to examine the damage, she noticed a pearl (you read that right) crammed up inside her right nostril. Modern science would be hard pressed to determine how long that little baby had been stowed up there. But with energy and speed that would impress a Navy Seal team, mom swiftly extracted the pearl with what appeared to be some sort of pointy dental instrument. Insert implement; extract pearl – impressive!
Act II: Makes a Hot Pocket Feel Like an Ice Cube
There was cookie baking going on while I was away, and upon my return, I was more than happy to assist. And by assist, I mean eat many of the cookies. Because they need to be tested. And I am helpful that way. But in my eagerness to be of use, I rashly thrust a fresh-from-the-oven chocolate caramel delight into my mouth only to discover that the gooey caramel inside was not unlike boiling lava. Ladies and gentlemen, the pain quite literally brought me to my knees. At that point, a piping hot cup of coffee would actually have felt soothing to my tongue!
Act III: The Song of Truth
Setting: interior of family van; I am driving with the Pixies in the back seats
Squidge: (singing) I am a princess; Audrey is poop.
Trixie: Mommy! Emmy called me poop.
Me: Emmy, don’t call your sister poop.
Squidge: (singing, with significantly more gusto) I am a princess; Audrey poops.
Trixie: Mommy!! Emmy said I–
Me: (wearily interrupting) Ems, cool it on the singing okay.
Squidge: I said Audrey poops. Everyone poops. If you don’t poop, you’ll die!
Me: Well, she’s got a point there Audrey. You can’t argue with medical fact.
10 December, 2007
Ho-Ho-Holy Cr#p: I Need A Serious Egg Nog!
Here’s to all the men (and women) who sit at the mall and let our kids wear them out!
This guy was Santa for a party that my nephews went to. His expression says it all!
I just hope the elves have a stiff gin and tonic ready for him when he gets home!
9 December, 2007
When All Creativity Fails
Every Christmas season, we check the ABC Family schedule to set the DVR. The Pixies love those old Rankin Bass holiday specials. So there I was, sifting through the program offerings when what should I stumble upon but a little film entitled “Holiday in Handcuffs” starring a couple of dregs from the cup of Hollywood Has-Been.
Are. You. Kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6 December, 2007
Now On Stage…
at InterActive Theater Company – “A Christmas Carol.” I wrote and directed it and my cast ROCKS. If you want to see something truly charming with your family this Christmas, you must come see this show. But do it before it ends on December 21! Time is running out…
30 September, 2007
Geniuses Grown Fresh Daily…
During her nighttime bath, Trixie gets quite reflective. Some of the questions she’s asked us in the past are pretty fantastic. And tonight, she whipped out this little doozy:
“Do animals have belly buttons?”
Needless to say, we ran to the computer, googled placental mammals, sauntered back into the bathroom, and answered the question as if that bit of trivia had been floating around the old noggin indefinitely. Thus I have once again preserved my status as “person of omniscience.”
But it’s only a matter of time before she starts snooping around about the general characteristics of metatheria!
1 September, 2007
(Insert Evil Laughter)…
Saturday is list day. And today’s list is my “Favorite Animated Villains.” I am especially fond of certain types of voice work; consequently, I am always ready to appreciate a really terrific vocal performance. So here they are (in no particular order) fresh from the Disney vault:
1. Ursula voiced by Pat Carroll from The Little Mermaid
That nicotine-soaked voice; the ironic tone; the ample ch-estrogen… and the icing on the cake: the animators made her an OCTOPUS! Priceless.
2. Captain Hook voiced by Hans Conried from Peter Pan
He redefines “over the top” and it totally changed my approach to children’s theater. Hats off to you Mr. Conried. Hats off indeed.
3. Maleficent voiced by Eleanor Audley from Sleeping Beauty
To this day, this woman’s voice, coupled with the way she’s drawn, scares the s@#t out of me. Chilling. Brilliant. But chilling.
4. Gaston voiced by Richard White from Beauty and the Beast
This guy MADE the film for me. And one of the few voice-over actors who’s actually better in song than in dialogue. Hilarious. When I directed this fairy tale at the theater, a lot of people asked me why Gaston wasn’t in the play. My answer was – he wasn’t in the original fairy tale that I adapted. However, if Richard White had been available to play him for us, my show might have been titled “Gaston!”
5. Yzma voiced by Eartha Kitt from The Emperor’s New Groove
This is without a doubt the funniest performance on the list. Eartha Kitt – WHO KNEW??? I mean, really, who knew she had it in her. Patrick Warburton as Kronk is hilarious in his own right; but Eartha totally OWNS this film. I bow to you Ms. Kitt.
30 August, 2007
Pace Yourself!
Sometimes, mobilizing the Pixies can wear me out. I’m now in the habit of leaving two days early for pretty much everywhere I need to go!
29 August, 2007
A Little Late…
but still cute – here’s a shot from the first day of school. Or rather, Trixie’s first day as a big time First Grader. Squidge doesn’t start Pre-K until next week.
On a side note, I truly adore my daughters’ friends. This could be because I have instilled in them a hawk-like ability to ferret out the jackasses. Or maybe just sheer luck. Either way rocks!
24 August, 2007
Picks of the Pixies…
or e-pixie-phanies is today’s riveting topic. Here are a few bits and pieces that the Pixies gave the thumbs (three dry, one soggy) up rating:
Cool Surf: BBC Science & Nature: Space
Cool Tune: Walking on the Moon – the best Police song ever. Unplugged. Boom baby!
Cool Read: Encyclopedia Prehistorica Dinosaurs
It’s hard to be a rock star…
23 August, 2007
Artistic Pet Peeves…
might just be a new fun project for my posting. To kick things off, I’d like (thanks to deputydog) to list some violators of one of my greatest peeves of all time: bad accents in film. Let me preface this roll call with the timeless maxim that NO ACCENT is better than a painful one.
Let’s start with one of my favorite (ha!) actresses of all time: Julia Roberts. In Mary Reilly, she plays an Irish woman. From Ireland. With an Irish “accent”. Not only should that idea have been nixed from the get go – to inflict such an audible rape of the accent should result in some sort of federal prosecution. The best is when, having no idea how on God’s green earth she should correctly articulate certain words, she plows right on through, no doubt hoping to distract us with her famous Stonehenge smile. Judge for yourself:
Continuing in this stunning thespian tradition, I offer you… Keanu Reeves. I know what you’re thinking – so many movies, so many bad accents. Which one shall I choose? In this case, I’m going to go with Dracula. In this film, he had to use a British accent. I’m assuming… Since everyone else was speaking that way… At some point, I just gave up, gave him the benefit of the doubt, and prayed that Gary Oldman would come back on screen. Because truthfully, a paper bag with eyes drawn on it could spit out a better British dialect than this guy. I mean, come on!
Next up: Four words – Kevin. Costner. Robin. Hood.
Moving on, let’s take a look at John Malkovich in Rounders. It’s like this guy had no idea what a Russian accent sounded like, so he just studied Count Chocula and went from there. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Here’s a dynamic duo – two bad accents IN THE SAME MOVIE. Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New York. Now I think little Leo is quite a good actor. But he needs to avoid tricky European accents – it would be the best thing for all of us. And Cameron Diaz??? I don’t know what she’s got going on, but ding dang! she doesn’t sound like she’s from anywhere. It’s as if she’s in the transitional stages in her work with Henry Higgins! To wit:
I must end this list on a sad note. Dick Van Dyke is a rock star. Period. He is a wonderfully gifted physical actor. But what he did in Mary Poppins should have been addressed by the director. Or a fellow cast member. Or any member of the human race. He’s going for Cockney; he hit crappy. But Julie Andrews saves us all, God bless her!
What are your least favorite accents?
20 August, 2007
I’m Back Baby…
’cause school is just around the corner (cue Hallelujah Chorus). And why haven’t I posted lately? Let’s see… oh yeah, I’m raising two very mischievous, delightful but somewhat machiavellian PIXIES! So basically, I have my hands a wee bit full. And when I say a wee bit full, I mean don’t-even-pause-to-go-to-the-bathroom, breathe-when-you-have-the-chance, take-the-phone-off-the-hook, ask-for-eyes-in-the-back-of-your-head-for-Christmas, just-go-ahead-and-set-your-affairs-in-order FULL!!
Here is some irrefutable evidence:
Don’t be fooled by the sweet smile – she’s got a bucket full of rocks, for the love of God!!
Note to self: when patroning a bowling alley wherein small children freely cart bowling balls hither and yon, steel-toed boots vs. flip flops isn’t really even a contest!
It’s just not enough to slide like a normal person – let’s add some panache!! And check out the other kid trying to get with the program – is there even medicine for a groin injury in one so young?
Why wear your own clothes when you can strip down to your skivvies at a birthday party, pirate this little number and work it like you’re headlining a Disney Renaissance Festival??
23 June, 2007
Feed Your Head…
I have been enjoying some retro tunes lately and the following are the most 5 played albums on Milo (my iPod) for the week:
Some old; some new – the pixies are really into The Who right now. Trixie prefers Baba O’Riley while Squidge favors Slip Kid. Either way, these two are bein’ raised right!!
20 June, 2007
I’ll Take That Tag…
and give you my top 10 favorite movies to quote… Then I’ll give you a bonus quote (which probably only my beautiful sisters will be able to correctly identify!). Mind you, these are not necessarily my favorite films, just my favorite films to quote (although some of them really rock!):
1. Raising Arizona – “Hi, you get back in there and get me one of them babies…”
2. Fight Club – “I had become a slave to the IKEA nesting instinct.”
3. All About Eve – “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night.”
4. Monty Python & the Holy Grail – “It’s a false nose.”
5. Best in Show – “We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about. “
6. This Is Spinal Tap – “He was the patron saint of quality footwear.”
7. Waiting For Guffman – Here’s the Remains of the Day lunchbox. Kids don’t like eating at school, but if they have a Remains of the Day lunchbox they’re a lot happier.
8. Annie Hall – “I’m Marshall McLuhan – you know nothing of my work.”
9. Shrek – “We could stay up late, swap manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!”
10.Reality Bites – “There’s no secret handshake. There’s an IQ prerequisite, but there’s no secret handshake.”
And of course, the bonus quote: “I thought you said, ‘Earn more sessions by sleeving.’” What’s the movie? Big points to the first person to correctly identify the movie.
15 June, 2007
5ives & Pixies…
5 words to describe the Pixies:
- Exuberant
- Endless
- Unbridled
- Fantastical
- Unexpected
5 Things You’d Most Likely Find the Pixies Doing:
- Bickering, quarreling and otherwise bugging the crap out of each other
- Pining for Honey and Poppy’s house
- Charming their way into a forbidden snack
- Reading on the couches (one to a couch of course – heaven forbid we SHARE a couch!)
- Finding the last remaining nerve in my body and defraying it down to a single raw thread
5 Ways That I Detox From Being Over-Pixied:
- Read whatever library book I’m in the middle of in a bathtub so hot that I sweat out three years worth of me
- Make brownies at 10 pm and eat them with copious amounts of orange juice (zing!)
- Rewatch my video of “All About Eve” – if you haven’t seen it yet, watch it this week or be gone from this blog!!
- Walk at 5:30 am on a Saturday morning with Susan – one of my favorite people on the planet.
- Go back into the lion’s den and lie on my bed with the two pixies just gooning around and making them laugh.
Boom baby!
10 June, 2007
The ABCs Of Me Baby…
Because Kara is such a trendsetter, I decided to do my own abcedary of all my favorite things. Here ya go readers…
AUDREY – Trixie, Alpha Pixie. Quite simply, she rocks!
BEATLES – Anyone who says they don’t like the Beatles needs to realize that half the music they do like was influenced by the Beatles!
CHELSEA – as in The Great Dog Chelsea. There are none, nay not one, as good as she!
DUSK or DAWN – I’ll take either. I love being outside at the time between times.
EMILY – The Divine Miss Em. Squidge. She rocks! (see AUDREY above)
FRESH AIR – Terry Gross reminds us all that interviewing is a specific skill set.
GOODE COMPANY BBQ – Houston salutes you Jim Goode.
HONEY – the world’s greatest Mom and Grandmother – try pulling that one off!!
IRA GLASS – This American Life is radio at its finest.
JAMES – my younger nephew. He grins at life.
KETTLE CHIPS – hey, I like ‘em crunchy, crunchy, crunchy.
LAPTOP - Get a Mac baby!! My Macbook is always on and always hoppin’ Michael says it’s like my fifth limb.
MICHAEL – nothing else needs to be said!!!
NPR – for those days when I forget to charge the ipod.
OLIVIA – one of my favorite children’s books characters. Way to go Ian Falconer.
POPPY – one of the greatest human beings of all time – and I’m not the only person with this opinion!!
QUEEN ELIZABETH I – hands down the first person I’d invite to my Dinner for Five Party.
RASPBERRY MARGARITA – at Little Pappasito’s on Richmond. Life-changing!
SISTERS – I have the two best ones – too bad for the rest of you!!
THOMAS – my oldest nephew. He’s a total runktus and he’s amazing!!
UNBORN CHILD – as in, that of my pregnant sister. We’re calling the little embryo “Pebble” and the Pixies are bucking for a girl.
VEX – I just love that word. I try to use it in daily conversation and it never fails to get noticed.
WORLD WIDE WEB – the greatest invention ever. Hats off to Al Gore!
XTC – the first music group I really loved without being influenced by anyone else. Andy Partridge is a genius.
YOGURT – but only if it’s Yoplait.
ZOO – I could go to the zoo every day of the week. It never gets old and it’s the pixies favorite outing.
